Managing conflict between employees and managers, bosses and subordinates,
and co-workers is an important career skill. The following conflict management
questionnaire will provide you with some feedback on how you handle conflict.
Indicate how often you do the following when you differ with someone.
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Usually |
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Sometimes |
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Seldom |
| 1 |
I explore our differences, not backing down, but not imposing my
view either. |
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| 2 |
I disagree openly, then invite more discussion about our differences.
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| 3 |
I look for a mutually satisfactory
solution. |
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| 4 |
Rather than let the other person make a decision without my input,
I make sure I am heard and also that I hear the other out. |
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| 5 |
I agree to a middle ground rather than look for a completely satisfying
solution. |
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| 6 |
I admit I am half wrong rather than explore our differences. |
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| 7 |
I have a reputation for meeting a person halfway. |
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| 8 |
I expect to get out about half of what I really want to say. |
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| 9 |
I give in totally rather than to try to change another's opinion.
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| 10 |
I put aside any controversial aspects of an issue. |
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| 11 |
I agree early on, rather than argue about a point. |
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| 12 |
I give in as soon as the other party gets emotional about an issue.
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| 13 |
I try to win the other person over. |
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| 14 |
I work to come out victorious, no matter what. |
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| 15 |
I never back away from a good argument. |
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| 16 |
I would rather win than end up compromising. |
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Treat each set separately. A score of 17 or above on any set is considered
high; scores of 12 to 16 are moderately high; scores of 8 to 11 are moderately
low; and scores of 7 or less are considered low. Sets A, B, C, and D represent
different conflict-resolution strategies: A = Forcing/domination. I win,
you lose.
Everyone has a basic or underlying conflict-handling style. Your scores
on this exercise indicate the strategies you rely upon most.
Although you are unlikely to be involved in the negotiation of a collective
agreement, you will be involved in negotiations of other issues of importance
to you. Negotiating a salary may be one of the more important ones. Asking
for a raise is an emotionally difficult process. However, this process
resembles the collective bargaining process in that each party has goals,
uses power plays, reads nonverbal cues, but does want to achieve a win-win
solution.
Table 1 lists six common negotiating strategies and provides examples
of effective and ineffective tactics. Table 2 lists the pattern of negotiation
found in a typical pattern of salary negotiation. The dotted line dividing
stage IV and Stage V is an indication that subtlety has ended and open
conflict begins.
Using the two tables as performance aids, construct a mock interview
with your manager in which you ask for a raise in pay. Try role-playing
the salary negotiation with a friend before attempting the negotiation
with your manager.
| Table 1 |
| Effective and Ineffective Use of Negotiation
Tactics |
| Tactics Used in Negotiation |
Example of Use by Manager |
Example of Use by Employee |
| Reasoning |
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| Effective Tactics |
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| Strong, persuasive statements about reasons for the position taken;
Appeal to other party's sense of logic; No dependence on the opinions
or practices of others |
"The budget is tight and we can all move ahead if we each
tighten up our belts for just a little longer" |
"I've worked hard, performed very well and I deserve to
be equitably compensated for my contribution" |
| Ineffective Tactics |
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| Argumentative; Using weak examples or exaggeration to challenge
what the other negotiator says; Justifying position by reliance on
the opinions or practices of others |
"You are asking for the whole world … only GOD or
the CEO can give you that" |
"Supervisor X is giving all his people hefty increases" |
| Tactics Used in Negotiation |
Example of Use by Manager |
Example of Use by Employee |
| Ingratiation |
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| Effective Tactics |
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| Demonstration that person can be relied upon to support the other
party; Positive evaluation of other; Friendliness |
"No matter what happens here today, you know that I support
you" |
"No matter what happens here today, you know that I trust
you" |
| Ineffective Tactics |
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| Insincere compliments; Superficial offers to support other; Grand,
but obviously false plans to work together in the future |
"I think of you and me as a team and I have big plans for
your future" |
"We all think you are the greatest and you look really
good at meetings" |
| Tactics Used in Negotiation |
Example of Use by Manager |
Example of Use by Employee |
| Creating Alternatives |
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| Effective Tactics |
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| Problem solving; Generating workable possibilities; Suggesting different
ways to look at the problem; Action-oriented ideas |
"Keep in mind that this is a great place to work, you have
excellent benefits, and a wonderful group of people to work with" |
"Maybe you could speak to your boss about a special case
salary adjustment or a change of job title to justify it" |
| Ineffective Tactics |
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| "Administrative orbiting" by always needing more information
to make a decision; Coming up with highly unlikely events which might
cause problems for every new idea |
"If I only knew what our overhead is going to be, I would
know what I can give you. I never know what might come up" |
"Before I accept your offer, I have to investigate what
other companies are paying someone with my talents" |
| Tactics Used in Negotiation |
Example of Use by Manager |
Example of Use by Employee |
| Coalition Formation |
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| Effective Tactics |
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| Political savvy; Joining forces with superiors, subordinates, or
peers to enhance power position; Identifying goals which consolidate
units; Sincere willingness to collaborate; Strategic use of secrecy
and disclosure of information |
The other managers and I all feel that at this time only rewards
for some special type of contribution can be given" |
"I have talked with a number of people in other departments
and we all agree that it is time for some support from management
if we are going to get this done" |
| Ineffective Tactics |
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| Forming ineffective alliances; Unfair stereotypes of those who have
opposing views; Wrongly assuming that cohesiveness or consensus exists;
Dubious plans for unity; Excessive secrecy or disclosure of information
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"You aren't another Kelly are you? Always claiming that
this or that is unfair; we don't need any more claims against us" |
"I talked with Bob and Kelly and the three of us agreed
that we are not going to take this anymore. We don't know what to
do yet, but we will do something" |
| Tactics Used in Negotiation |
Example of Use by Manager |
Example of Use by Employee |
| Coercion |
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| Effective Tactics |
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| Use of threats that clearly will be backed up with action; Knowing
when, where, how, and how much to use force to obtain compliance;
Applying the minimal necessary (often implied) threat; Providing a
rationale to the coerced party for the necessity of using power |
"I am forced to do something that I really don't enjoy:
I either must lay some people off or else cut back on salaries this
year. We are going to be looking at everyone very carefully to decide
who stays and who goes" |
"I love my job here and the people are the best. The problem
is that I have family obligations: My kids want to go to a good college
and that costs a lot of hard-earned money" |
| Ineffective Tactics |
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| Use of weak threats; Exerting excessive force to obtain compliance
when other tactics could have the same result; Excessive threats that
create hostility; Failure to explain why it was necessary to use force
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"Who do you think you are? I'm the boss here and I don't
have to explain anything to you except this: Do what I say or this
place will be no more than a memory for you" |
"I'll straighten it out alright, but not with you, with
your boss. We'll see who has the last say on this after he/she hears
what is really going on here" |
| Tactics Used in Negotiation |
Example of Use by Manager |
Example of Use by Employee |
| Avoidance |
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| Effective Tactics |
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| Recognizing when some time and distance between the parties may
be necessary to regain perspectives; Removing disruptions or trivial
issues from discussion; Knowing when other opinions or information
would help to resolve the problem |
"Maybe we should think this over some more. I want to reflect
on it and I would like you to discuss it with some of your co-workers.
See if they agree with you. We will meet at the same time one week
from today to resolve this issue" |
"Your offer sounds very good but I would like some time
to think it over, discuss it with my spouse, and review my options.
I just like to be certain before I make a commitment" |
| Ineffective Tactics |
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| Non-action; Trying to wear down other party by claiming that other
people must act first; False insistence that the proper procedures
or channels have not been used; Strategy of "Ignore it and it
will go away" while claiming that the issue is "being studied" |
You know that I can't do anything until those snails at headquarters
review it, then HR and payroll get a whack at it. My hands are tied
but I'll get back to you the minute I hear something" |
"If I just do a good job and don't make any waves, the
boss will be sure to be grateful and give me the increase that I deserve" |
